its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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