You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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