all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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