Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
