so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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