Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
