it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
