Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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