Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
