roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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