You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
The uberlube is also flammable
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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