Can Purell be used as lube?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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