I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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