you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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