I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
