i already hear my dad disowning me
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
