I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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