I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
