let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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