I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
