Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
