I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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