By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
