it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize