Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize
