The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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