You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Shame - the story of my life.
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