Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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