The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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