It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize