my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
