he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I want to be your penis for a week.
My penis needs a shock collar
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Randomize