He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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