How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My vagina just clenched in fear
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
