I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
