She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
