When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
