Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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