New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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