Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Randomize
