Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
