Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
