Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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