I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize