She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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