wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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