walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
