Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
