how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
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