Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Your cock deserves a montage
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
