lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
