So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
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