You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I think weed is turning my hair brown
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
