Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
