Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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