didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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