we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Randomize
