mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
