well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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