He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
